Musings

I am not happy with myself.

If you're still reading, understand this is not a recrimination or the start to a litany of complaints. I've just come to the understanding that I'm not happy with who I am and what I'm doing in my life. I'm tired of kepping on. I need to make changes and right now I know what I want some of them to be, I'm just not sure how realistic some of the changes are right now.

• Work still sucks

  • I need to get a new job. I'm at the point in my life (just shy of 40) that I have to be sure I have a good motivation to move jobs.

  • I need to go back to school so I can get better jobs.

• Money still sucks

  • I need to make a plan and stick to it.

  • I need to get my bills caught up and paid on time every time.

  • I need to get JD a vehicle so she can have more freedom to move around.

• Romantic life is going awesome! JD completes me and just keeps putting up with my shite!

• I have a weight goal of 225 pounds by next June. This is an approximate 80 pound loss on my part.

  • I know what I need to do:

    • Eat less

    • Exercise more

    • Stop making excuses for not doing the other two.

• Writing

  • I am going to write a minimum of one blog post per week

  • I will work on stories nightly

    • I am going to try to finish one short story a month

  • I need to work on this more if I want to be happy!

Over all, I'm not terribly unhappy. I just need to make changes in my life to be happier. I'm am hoping to go see my folks in Idaho next year as I haven't been out to seem them since they've moved. I also hope to get to England in 2013. I want to see my family. I just missed my cousin's wedding and I feel like a slacker because I didn't go. This regret is tied up with my money issues!

I'm Back!

I'm back. I've had an extremely difficult time getting back in the swing of writing entries. As usual for me, there is nothing truly new and some momentous things have occurred.

I'm not going to detail what has happened in the last few months. I have started writing semi-regularly again. I'm attempting to to eat less and better. I am currently 135.35 kg (305 lbs) and I want to loose approximately 35.35 kg (85 lbs) to become healthier. I know what has to happen. I have to start moving my body more and watching telly less. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about that. I get up at 0545 I'm out of the house by 0715 and depending on where I stop on the way home I arrive somewhere betwixt 1815 to 2200. There isn't much time for working out. I know, those of you whom do work out will tell me to just make the time. However, that doesn't seem feasible to my mind. I will have to do make the time and create some time to work out. I'm going to have to make the time, I just don't see it at this time. Again, not unusual for me.

I'm thoroughly stymied at work right now. I don't like my job. This wasn't supposed to be a stopping point. I was only supposed to stay here for six months to a year before moving on to something bigger and better. I am not used to not getting the jobs I want. Before in my life I want a job, apply, interview, and start. This is the first time in my life I've been told you've done well, but you just weren't good enough. Sad, but true.

I was out to dinner with friends on Friday night and one of them suggested looking at the VA. I initially said no, but the thought has been niggling at the back of my mind for the last few days.

I don't want this blog to become just where I whine about my life. I'm afraid I do that too much.

I'm currently in a hotel for my anniversary with my wonderful and talent wife. We are going out in a little bit to see some friends, visit some shops, and see Jay and Silent Bob Get Old tonight at the Midland Theatre. I will report on what I think!

On My Way Back, I Promise!

I'm disappearing for a little while. I know, I know, I haven't written in a long while any way. Who cares! Well, if there is anyone still looking at this blog, be warned. I'm getting ready to take an official hiatus. I plan on getting my laptop fixed and then I will be back. I'm hoping only a few weeks, certainly not more than a month, will elapse and I will start posting weekly missives from my brain.