Monday, August 16, 2010


Apparently, I am a sub-human, single-helix, mouth-breather, barely fit to be in the house.

I was informed of this charming little factoid, in not quite so many words by my house mate and landlord Sunday afternoon. To explain maybe I need to go back and give some of the events leading up to this.

24 hours earlier:

Jen and I decided to go see a movie. We tried to stop at the ATM and were thwarted in our attempts to get money as the network was down. We ran across town and the ATM at the branch we stopped at was operable. We got some cash and cruised into the theatre, got a drink and popcorn and saw The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. I have to say the film makers owe Jim Butcher a big, fat check! There were many differences from Mr. Butcher’s universe and MANY similarities. We got out of the film and grabbed some meds for me. Turns out my prescriptions had run out. Not really a problem, the nice young lady informed me they had faxed my doctor. I told her that would be an issue as my doctor was no longer an employee of the University of Missouri Hospital system. In fact he had taken a fellowship in Las Vegas. After the third time I’d mentioned the fellowship she asked me if that was a church thing. I explained my doctor was a resident and they did four years of residency and then could elect to do a fellowship which was usually either one or two years of further study and privately funded. I didn’t mention a fellowship was usually further study in a specialization. I got my only med available and my Emory boards. When she showed me where they were, she bent over to examine them and I could see right down here shirt. She had very lovely breasts. I held up two dollars, which she assumed was a tip, and I told her I was trying to donate to the breast cancer research advertised on the counter. You donate $2 and get a pen, with the pharmacy’s info on it! LOL I jumped back in the car and stopped off at Dairy Queen, we were heading to our local book sellers and Jen called and asked if they wanted a blizzard. We got them and headed over. They were busy. Jen and I ate and hung out until it was 1630. We stopped by Hy-Vee for some snacks, Sonic for drinks, and the house for our gaming supplies. I believe we got to our friends at 1730. Originally, we had agreed on a 1700 start time and Jen and I haven’t been so great at getting there on time.

I was running a Rifts RPG campaign. I thought the session had gone well. During the night another friend asked if we wanted to come over and hang out in the pool. We told them we couldn’t do anything until after we were done here. We wrapped up by 2230. We stopped by the house to drop stuff off, grabbed suits and towels, and headed out. We got over to our friend’s place around 2330. I should mention this is my friend’s father-in-law’s house. Turns out that we didn’t need our suits as we all went skinny dipping. We had a great time and left around 0300 and finally go home and in bed around 0400.

I know my housemate was up when we got home because his lights were on. Jen and I crashed and got up around 1130. I know my housemate got up around this time because I heard him come up and use the bathroom. One of the draw backs of the house he bought is that the bathing facilities are all upstairs. He has a toilet downstairs but not a shower or bath. However, he has the washer and drier in there. He went out and mowed the lawn. He came in the front door and Jen said, “Good morning sunshine.” He said, “You don’t want to know what I have to say to that.” He walked around for a minute and then said, something close to, I can’t say this without being snarky so you’ll get the snark. Elaine articulated something last night. She takes it as a personal insult that you guys are never on time. Then he walked off.

Jen and I stayed around watching telly. I was pissed, not about the comment, but about the delivery. I’m positive the reason for the comment is that he wanted to say something on Saturday night and we were gone when he came and looked for us. We got through quite a bit of taped stuff. I realized it was 1640. I told Jen we’d have to hurry, but we could make it to The Expendables at 1700. We got dressed and hurried out to the theatre. We made it in time. The Expendables was just as cheesy as I’d feared it would be. I enjoyed myself thoroughly. However, I suggest if Mr. Stallone plans on turning this into a franchise he hires better consultants. The actors didn’t move like a team and there were some egregious mistakes with firearms and explosives! Having said that I still had a ton of fun watching stuff blow up.